Clarke is playing in the Madrid Masters this week to prepare for Europe's defence of the Ryder Cup next week at The K Club in Ireland.

``I wouldn't be playing if I thought it would hurt the team,'' Clarke said Wednesday, his voice cracking. ``Heather was always very much behind me all this time, kicking me out of the house to go and play in tournaments. She would have wanted me to play.''

Heather Clarke died of breast cancer Aug. 13 at age 39.

``Heather was diagnosed with cancer two days after the last Ryder Cup, so it's not anything that's happened out of the blue,'' Clarke said when asked if he was returning too soon. ``It was always in the back of my mind whether or not I would be able to play, and I've played well in the past, it's in Ireland, and it's match play _ that's a huge reason for me to go.''

With Clarke finishing outside Europe's top 10, European captain Ian Woosnam selected the Northern Irishman with one of his two captain's picks _ at the expense of Denmark's Thomas Bjorn. Lee Westwood was the other pick.

Bjorn harshly criticized Woosnam's decision, which earned him a fine from the European Tour.

``I feel for Thomas, it was a tough decision for Woosie,'' Clarke said. ``Lee and Thomas are two of my best friends and one was always going to lose out. But that is finished and all done and dusted.''

Woosnam's decision to pick Clarke has come under scrutiny since he hasn't played since missing the cut at the British Open July 21.

Clarke will be appearing in his fifth Ryder Cup _ he's been on the winning side three times _ and brings a wealth of experience that teammate Jose Maria Olazabal believes can only benefit the European team.

``Players like him make the team very strong,'' Olazabal said. ``He is a very good player and I played with him at Loch Lomond (in July) and he played well, and that was under the circumstances we all know about.''

Clarke has been buoyed by the support he's received from across the PGA Tour, including personal messages from friend Tiger Woods, who will be on the American team.

``I spoke to Tiger quite a few times and it was nice to know _ from other players on the tour as well _ that they care and wanted me to play,'' he said.

Clarke played at the K Club last week and is relishing the atmosphere that will come with the event.

``It will be a tough test,'' he said. ``It'll be a stern challenge. It's a tough course _ it's not the course I shot 60 on, but that's what will make it better. It's a game of golf among friends. We all want to win but hopefully this is what the spirit of how it will be played.''

Clarke believes Woosnam will be ``a great captain'' in leading the Europeans past a U.S. team that is looking to end a slide of four losses in the last five cups.

``Woosie will be fine,'' he said. ``He has good ideas of what he wants. He will do a good job, and I'll play wherever he wants me to play.''

Most importantly, Clarke believes the event offers him a chance of getting his life back to normal after the trauma of the past few months.

``It's a difficult position that I have to get used to and I will get used to,'' he said. ``I'm trying to get on with my life _ that's what I'm trying to do. And someone has to pay the bills _ they're not going to pay themselves.''