Curtis Martin appears as healthy as he's ever been and the competitive fire in him still burns. The fourth-leading rusher in NFL history just isn't sure if he'll ever get back on the field.
Speaking publicly for the first time since Aug. 9, the New York Jets running back expressed his desire Thursday to resume his playing career and put his knee injury behind him.
``I feel as though I've gotten better,'' said the 33-year-old Martin, looking fit and in his usual game shape. ``I feel as though I'm running a little better. The one thing I was concerned about was making the cuts. Once you get out there, instincts take over. I haven't been put in that situation. I don't know how that'll turn out.''
Martin, sidelined with a right knee injury since the end of last season, was eligible to come off the physically-unable-to-perform list Monday, but the team announced he'd remain on it until at least after the Jets' game at Cleveland on Oct. 29.
``That's the hardest part about this deal for me is that I just can't will myself to do things right now,'' said Martin, wearing a fitted Yankees cap, green Jets sweat shirt and navy workout pants with white racing stripes.
``I have to be smart, and that's what I'm trying to do,'' he said. ``I'm trying to listen to the advice of the people who are around me, who know better than I know. For me, other people have my best interests and I have my best interests, but sometimes you need eyes outside of yours to see.''
According to NFL rules, a player on the PUP list can't be cleared to practice until after Week 6. The Jets have three weeks to decide whether to allow Martin to start practising. Once he's cleared to practice, the team would have three weeks from that date to either place him on the active roster or put him on injured reserve and end his season.
Martin was non-committal about being able to start practising after the game at Cleveland.
```Definitely' isn't a word that I'm going to use,'' Martin said. ```Hopefully.' That's the word that I use.''
Martin was injured last season in Week 2, but played in 12 games before ending his year. That broke a streak of 119 consecutive regular-season starts and his string of 10 straight 1,000-yard seasons to start a career, a record he shares with Barry Sanders. He underwent surgery in December, but was slow to recover. He was placed on the PUP list before training camp so he could continue to rehabilitate the knee, which reportedly has a bone-on-bone condition.
``I feel myself getting better,'' he said. ``I don't think confidence has ever been an issue because I always feel like I can go out there. But the reality of it, me actually going out there, is another thing. It's something I'm not used to. You guys know me, no matter what I've had in the past, my attitude and my mentality is that I'm going to go out there until it's stupid. That's what I'm trying to avoid doing now.''
The cautious approach is a departure from how Martin previously dealt with injuries during his highly successful career, brushing off nicks and aches while rushing for 14,101 yards.
``I'm probably on that borderline of stupidity, and I have to be honest with myself,'' he said. ``That's the change. I won't even say that's the change. That's just been the law that's been in place.''
Martin wouldn't reveal what his rehab has entailed, except to say he's been ``doing enough'' _ including working out, running and doing everything else with the team except practice.
For a four-time Pro Bowler who seems to have very little else to accomplish on the field, the question becomes why would Martin push himself to come back for just a few games?
``For me, it's just that this is my team, this is my job, this is what I like doing,'' Martin said. ``And for me, it's more so than just playing football. This has become a way, a lifestyle, a mentality _ the way you approach every day.''
Martin reiterated he has no thoughts of retiring, something 31-year-old Giants running back Tiki Barber acknowledged he is considering.
``No, not right now,'' Martin said. ``If that ends up being the situation, I'm sure I'll make peace with it. Until that is a reality, my mind doesn't have peace with it.''
Until then, Martin acknowledged he has set one short-term performance goal for himself, offering a sobering dose of reality for a player who won the NFL rushing title just two years ago.
``If I could get the opportunity to get out on the football field, we have different awards: the scout player of the week and we have the player of the game,'' he said. ``I would like to go out there and get the scout player of the week to start off with. And if I can get that, then I believe I've progressed to another level. That's what I'm thinking right now. My No. 1 goal is getting the scout player of the week.''
